I Feel Like a Woman

Part of me wants to ignore the events of this weekend. There are women on either side of a great divide, and sadly a lot are being thrown directly into the great chasm. I am proud of all those who stand up for what they believe and draw attention to issues they care about, but there are some issues I have with many of the marches that occurred this weekend.

First of all, it seems to me that the word “feminism” is being thrown around a lot, but without a full understanding of what it is. Merriam-Webster defines feminism as “the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes.” This sounds great, in theory. There is a roadblock from making this an achievable goal though that everyone is ignoring. Men and women are both humans, but we are so different that equality really is not possible and we would not really want it. Home insurance and automobile insurance are both great, but it would not make sense if the coverage was the same.

Secondly, why in the world would women who are pushing for women’s rights intentionally disclude a large group of women who also want to march???? Nobody seems to be talking about this, but pro-lifers who were excited to be a part of the women’s marches across the nation were turned away. When women tear each other down, how are we supposed to rise up? It makes no sense to me that you would call an event a “women’s march” if you will not allow all women to be represented.

On top of all of this, there are people on social media who are ripping down women who are self proclaimed feminists, most notably Taylor Swift. T. Swift speaks out often about her opinion of what would be good for women and surrounds herself with strong lady friends. She did not attend a march. The internet sure as anything noticed and there are many who are attempting to decimate her reputation. There is no reason for this. All of us should encourage each other: women should encourage women, men should encourage women, women should encourage men and men should encourage men. We are all on this planet trying to make the most of life here on Earth so be positive and help others.

Today and everyday, I am a woman who stands for what she believes in and human rights for all.

-M

P.S. political comments are welcome as long as they are thoughtful and civilized.

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Home.

Surely everyone heard the saying “home is where the heart is” at least once. If you haven’t you either don’t live in a primarily English speaking country or you are a recluse. Which if either of those statements apply to you, it is a mystery how you came to stumble upon this blog.

This saying has been weighing on my heart so heavily lately (alongside other quotes and songs about home) and it all brings me back to one idea. I have loved living at school, meeting wonderful new friends, growing as a person, and learning. Now that I’m a senior though, I have to think of my future. Where is my home?

For so many, I feel like this results in great conflict in their hearts and minds, but for me it is so so so simple. My heart, and consequently my home, has always been with my family. I say all the time that my hometown and the area immediately surrounding it is a great place and I want to live there because of this combined with the fact that there are great hospitals where I could get a job. This is true, but it’s not the reason I want to move back to the place I have always thought of as home.

All my plans for the future would be desolate if my siblings and my parents were only in them sparingly. There are points throughout every day that I wish that one of my family members were there to experience something with me that I think that would be fully appreciated by one of them or would make a joke about. For many I’m sure this is how they think of their best friends, but my siblings and my parents are best friends to me. Yes, I have very close friends who are not in my nuclear family, but to me those friends are family to me, just a different kind of family.

Realistically, it would be my dream to just buy a large lot of land in my favorite town and build homes for all the people I love most. I’ve posted before about how disappointing it is to grow up miles and miles away from your extended family, and I don’t want that for my kids. I want my future kids to have the opportunity to be close friends with their cousins and the future children of my best friends, while growing up in a great community in my beloved (adopted) home state.

For now, I hope my heart’s longing will be quieted a little by the idea that soon, so soon, I’ll be home.

Hope everyone has gotten a taste of fall! I have and I’m LOVING IT!!!

M

Nostalgia

Unnamed friend (you know who you are–thanks for being a consistent reader) you will know the things I’m talking about better than anyone else so sorry for how sappy this might get.

It has been so long. So so so long since I thought I loved someone romantically. Most days I’m totally fine and it doesn’t bother me because I’m a believer in waiting on God’s timing, but sometimes it can be really hard to see the beauty of being single. I mean for the sake of all that is good, do I really think I have the time to maintain a romantic relationship? One’s emotions are not always reasonable, unfortunately.

I see these people my age getting engaged or in relationships heading in that direction, people who are so in love, people who have this person that they trust with their whole heart and to lead them to Christ and who they can fall back on always. I am almost always unbelievably excited for these people. Congrats to them for finding the person who is all the previously mentioned things for them. Sometimes though on top of that happiness for those couples I have a deep jealousy/sadness.

I haven’t had a romantic relationship in nearly 3 and a half years. I have been single since senior year of high school. Some days it does not feel like it’s been that long and some days it feels so much longer. Today is one of those days where I desperately want to be back in that last relationship (although it has occurred with other past boyfriends after seeing them) and I’m having to remind myself why we were not romantically compatible. I dated the guy twice, that’s probably enough times to know that it will not work out. He’s such a great guy and we’re still friends. Well, we were until the girlfriend he has currently, now I’m not so sure. Every time I see them together, I have mixed emotions because I think they are a poor match (nothing to do with wanting him back) and sometimes (rarely) because I miss being so close (girlfriend close) to him. Realistically, I just ache to be in love again…I say again, but when I look back on my high school relationships I don’t think I’ve actually been in love. I think I did love some of the boys that I dated but I don’t think I was in love with any of them. I think I was a bit lax about who I said “I love you” to in that stage of my life.

All of that being said, I know I should not wish away my single life because there are benefits to it, but I’m such a romantic. I say now that I wish a man would come along for me to love and that would be great except for the fact that it is my senior year of college. Maybe it’s not the best time for a relationship, but I was still sad when the only guy I’ve truly interested in (sadly, from a slight distance) walked by holding some other girl’s hand.

When it comes down to it, I’m nostalgic for what I thought at the time was love and it claws at my heart that I have not found love when people around me have found it. Tomorrow will be different I’m sure, but for today I’m feeling nostalgic for things of the past and hoping my future love will show up soon.

If you feel so inclined, please pray for my patience. Either way happy fall y’all!!

M

Memories: Love to have them, love to make them

I have had an idea weighing on me lately that I have really wanted to blog about and this is me getting around to it. Couple of reasons why it’s today: 1) it’s my 3 year anniversary of having this blog (!!!) and 2) the best time to blog is when I have other things to do that I am procrastinating on. Let’s get to it then.

This is it guys. My senior year of college. In 8 months and 5 days, I will be (God-willing) walking across a stage and being handed a degree. Within 3 weeks of that, I will take NCLEX. Where has college gone?

I know a lot of people feel their high school experience culminated with graduation and would say “I feel like graduation was just yesterday” in this moment, but that’s not what it is for me. It feels like just a few weeks ago, I was stepping off a football field. I was crying that I would never march with these people in competition again. I was standing in full retreat being shocked by our placement. I was laughing on a bus ride back to our school. I was singing our alma mater as we turned onto campus.

It wasn’t just a few weeks ago though, it was almost four whole years ago. My life has changed so much since then. I have had so many wonderful (and if not wonderful than at least meaningful) experiences. The person I am today is not the same person I was then and that is a good thing. I have made new friends and fell out of touch some old ones, who I miss dearly but still cherish the memories we have together. Life will keep going on like this. Four years from now, I will look back and remember putting on white scrubs for one ceremony and a black cap and gown for another. I will remember having my brother at school with me for one more year. I will smile fondly as I think of a year living in an apartment with two wonderful friends.

There is so much that is coming. I cannot know how any of it will turn out, that is not my place but the Lord’s. Even with all that is to come though, I find comfort in the memories I already have, the memories I am making, and the knowledge that I am constantly making more to cherish. What will I get to think back to a decade from now and smile? An awkward start to something wonderful? Getting dressed for a wedding and laughing with the ladies I love most? The birth of a child or a few?

No matter if those are not the memories I get to make, because every memory is a great gift. And as I go through this chapter, where it seems like most of the memories I am making are kind of bittersweet, I thank a good and gracious Lord for all the beautiful memories that I love to remember so much.

 

Wishing you all the best (and for cooler weather)

-M

Thoughts Of A Rising Senior

Long time no post. I apologize for the gap, but not for enjoying my summer in all the easiest ways (i.e. Being wickedly lazy while not at work)

I went to an amusement park this weekend with my family (bonus: it was free because the company my dad works for paid for our tickets. Just the best.) and conquered tons of thrill rides. I have previously been to this park so I’ve been on all the roller coasters there before but since I last went a new one went up. This new ride is faster, taller, and longer than any other in the park. All day, my sisters and I joked with our dad (my mom and brother didn’t go because they are not thrill seekers in the least) that riding it would probably be a one-and-done kind of thing. While we were standing in line I was ridiculously nervous.

Seriously guys, you can’t even hear the riders scream while standing right near the coaster because the speed whips their cries into the air and away. Insanity.

Anyway, we’re standing in this line and it’s the longest wait we’ve had all day since this is the newest ride and I’m thinking to myself “oh man, I don’t think I can do this” to the point that I’m about to psych myself out, but we finally get to the front before that happens. I’m locked into my seat (with no shoulder harness mind you, even though you go sideways) and that’s it we’re off. The climb up was none like I’ve ever experienced. It was swift even at the beginning and picked up even more when we neared the top, then we shot down the (almost completely vertical) first hill at exhilarating but terrifying speed.

Why am I telling you this? Because metaphors, that’s why. High school was that long line and as I approached graduation, I got to be as nervous and as excited as I’d been yet. Then I graduated; I was locked into the college I would attend and was off into “adulthood.”

Freshman through junior year have been that quick assent up the hill with junior year just a little more rapid than my first two years. Now, I’m about getting myself mentally ready for the incredibly rapid drop that will be my senior of college that will send me careening into the rest of the ups and downs of life. Am I ready? Who knows? But it’s happening all the same so I might as well make the most of it.

Just as a side note on the actual roller coaster experience I finished the ride out with giggles that showed the exhilaration high I was coming off of as did my sisters (dads too stoic for giggles), but the row behind as did not finish it out so pleasantly. The girl directly behind me, puked TWICE on the girl beside her as we rolled into the station. We stuck to our joke of only riding that coaster once after we were present for that little mishap.

 

Hope everyone is having the most enjoyable of summers. Here’s a picture of the beach, in case you don’t get to go.

image.jpeg

-M

Summertime

The end of this semester was ridiculous, but I survived. Nothing below a B. Tearing up nursing school like a champ.

Now that it is summer, I’m working in a church nursery and paying my rent. Being an adult can be frustrating sometimes, but paying rent on my apartment is such a satisfying feeling.

I am so looking forward to not having homework or studying for tests. Finally, I have time for reading leisurely! In honor of summertime and free time, here’s a list of 20 things that I’d love to do this summer:

  1. Read at least 15 books for fun.
  2. Go camping.
  3. Play outside at least once a week.
  4. Learn to cook a new meal.
  5. Lighten my hair up using lemon juice.
  6. Go rafting.
  7. Drive to the beach and spend a day diving through the waves.
  8. Hiking. All the hiking.
  9. Watch the first season of House of Cards.
  10. Fly a kite.
  11. Go for a bike ride.
  12. Ride on a Ferris wheel.
  13. Eat an ice cream cone.
  14. Go horseback riding.
  15. Make lemonade from scratch.
  16. Blow bubbles with my friends.
  17. Catch fireflies.
  18. Swing in a hammock.
  19. Eat watermelon and have a seed spitting contest.
  20. Enjoy the heat and get a suntan.

 

I really just want to enjoy my last summer before I am a full on adult with a full time job. Let me know what you plan on doing this summer!

Happy May everyone!!

M

End of Semester Blues and 50 Things I Love

Writing this post is probably a terrible use of my time at this point in the school year, I could be studying…or sleeping. Oh well, you only live once.

Anybody currently in college knows exactly what I am talking about when I say that this is the most hellish part of the semester. To all the seniors out there, I believe in you. This is the last time (unless you’re super driven and are going on to do a graduate program) that you have to make it through the last terrible month in class. All the projects are due. For some reason all your professors scheduled 2 tests in the last month of class. On top of that, cumulative final exams are lurking just around the corner. My goodness.

In order to combat all the misery of studying until you want to cry, I figured I would make list a 50 things that I love. They aren’t in any order, I just typed up things I love as I thought of them. Hopefully, y’all will like some of these too and will therefore have your day brightened. Sorry if you do not share my love of these things, but I hope it inspires you to think of things you really love. Let’s get to it.

  1. Spotify (Free music access. Enough said.)
  2. Talking to interesting people. (and talking, just in general)
  3. Rocking chairs.
  4. Wrap around porches.
  5. Zillow (I freaking love houses. I can literally look at them for hours.)
  6. Spending time with family.
  7. Walks with my mom.
  8. Friends that are there for me even when I neglect them when my life gets completely crazy at school (sorry!!!)
  9. Playing with my sister’s silly dog.
  10. Singing along to most any song. (recent favorite: Let’s Get Lost Carly Rae Jepsen all-time favorite: Saltwater Room Owl City)
  11. Parks and Recreation. (Leslie and Ben forever)
  12. The icee stand in my hometown.
  13. The movie Secondhand Lions. Go watch it now, if you’ve never seen it (or if you have seen it).
  14. Mint flavored things (did you know you can get a just mint milkshake at Cookout??)
  15. The softness of the inside of a brand new hoodie.
  16. Wearing dresses.
  17. Dresses or skirts that have pockets.
  18. SHOES. It is a problem how many I have.
  19. Knitting.
  20. The smell of laundry drying.
  21. Driving back roads.
  22. Driving with the windows down.
  23. Hiking in the mountains.
  24. Waterfalls.
  25. Coloring with crayons (Markers are not as good. It’s not even close)
  26. Phineas and Ferb. Especially Agent P.
  27. Marching band (clarinets are the best around).
  28. Christmas time and all that goes with it (decorating, baking, caroling, etc.).
  29. Reading for fun (sadly I have had little time for this, but soon I will).
  30. Swimming.
  31. Cold lemonade.
  32. A really good pair of sunglasses.
  33. Walking barefoot in long, soft grass.
  34. Stargazing in the country (it is such much better away from the lights of a town).
  35. Bonfires with awesome people.
  36. Rearranging a room after it’s been a certain way for a couple of months (I like to change it up when I get bored of a setup).
  37. Non-matching socks.
  38. Ranch dressing on chicken tenders.
  39. Bojangles french fries.
  40. Peanut Butter Crunch.
  41. Meeting new people (They haven’t hear all my favorite stories yet).
  42. Big comfy sweaters.
  43. New York Cheesecake ice cream from Bruster’s Real Ice Cream.
  44. Zumba classes (it’s more fun in a group).
  45. Popcorn x1,000,000,000.
  46. Sleeping in over-sized t-shirts.
  47. Having a uniform that consists of scrubs, when other majors have to wear dress clothes.
  48. Painting my toenails but not my fingernails.
  49. My Chevy HHR.
  50. Jesus Christ.

I hope you enjoyed this. Let me know some things you love in the comments if you feel so moved or if we love any of the same things.

Think of puppies and little kitty cats and push through the last few weeks! You’ve got this!!

-M